An update on me

I've been doing well with keeping my protein count high, taking my vitamins, etc. The swelling in my ankles/legs is much less than it was two weeks ago. My blood pressure is doing okay (the bottom number - the one that apparently is more of an warning sign for preeclampsia - has been lower the last week or so than it has been previously this pregnancy).

My big pain has been my hands. From what I've heard, pregnancy-related carpal tunnel is not uncommon. So let me register my official thankfulness that I've never had this in any of my first six pregnancies. Tuesday morning I woke Jonathan up with my whimpering. My hands hurt so badly that I could hardly cope with the pain. He got me wrist braces that day, and they have been a HUGE help. Praise the Lord! They are unwieldy, but I'm able to do a lot more now (like, say, pick up a plate with one hand...). I'm very thankful for the braces.

So I have much to be thankful for, and thankful I am.

At the same time, to be totally honest... there are ways in which I've really been struggling.
Fear - I find myself reading a good bit about the whole preeclampsia thing. And I think I'm becoming slightly paranoid. Please pray that I can be aware and alert without being fearful.
Guilt - I am very aware that the biggest reason that we even need to be concerned about these things is because I have not been being the responsible mom that I should be this pregnancy. I have not taken care of myself or my baby the way I should. I've not exercised, gotten the protein I need, nor eaten the quality of food I should. And now I feel like I'm scrambling to keep from having serious repercussions from my irresponsibility - repercussions that could affect both myself and this precious baby for whom I waited so long.

I realize that I need to set aside what is in the past, and press on to what is ahead. Please pray for me that I will be able to rest in Him so that I can do that.